Thank God this is another Tuesday and SexVille has come to my rescue, yet again. I always look forward to Tuesdays and I know you do too. The amount of calls I get, messages, Facebook likes and comments has been amazing and I am encouraged by what you guys have been saying. The advice, the comments and the criticism have been tremendous and I am happy doing this. Today, we want to talk about what we (men) want in bed. You women think sex is meant for you alone right? You got it all wrong. We also have our needs and wants when it comes to sex. You might think you have sexy down to a science. But do you know what men actually want in a lover? Let’s do this!
Enthusiasm
When it comes to sex, you can get an “A” for effort. But for us guys, we want our women to be actually into sex with enthusiasm and not just effort. You can sleep with a man all night, change positions, somersault severally, but without having the enthusiasm in your act, the man will be a mere projector because all he will do is to keep pumping in and out, just knowing that he is doing his job without his mind in it. He is going through the motions but according to a certified sex educator and author of The Big O: Orgasms: How to Have Them, Give Them, and Keep Them Coming, Lou Paget, “There is nothing more seductive than an enthusiastic lover. That beats out the perfect body or the perfect face anytime. A man wants feedback that a woman is into doing things with him.”
New Tricks
I am saying this as a man and believe or not, we want a lover who is willing to try new things from time to time. Just be open to new ideas, new tricks and new methods of doing even the old things right. “Sexual desire is like an appetite,” says Paget. “We all want to try different flavors, otherwise, we’d get bored eating at the same place all the time. Men want someone who is willing to explore unique feelings and new sensations.” Remember the local cliché that a man does not eat egusi soup all the time? The statement has nothing to do with changing women by men but in his woman being able to change and tweak things to make a fresh round of sex feel new. Worried that whatever you do is suddenly going to become part of your nightly repertoire? Don’t think of it as a can of worms. Most likely, the occasional change-up is all he needs.
Praise
Most women erroneously believe they are the only ones who deserve praises, the ones who need reassurance about their appearance or their performance in bed, but you are wrong here. Men also get insecure, too. A lover who will find something to compliment and worship about her partner will never lack affection from him. “Every man wants to know they have that special something that turns a woman on,” says Paget. “It could be something that turns her head or something like his intelligence or sense of humor that she finds incredibly sexy.”
Bossiness
I know my men folk will skin me for mentioning this but it’s not a cliché, ladies. A man wants a woman who will tell him what to do, at least in the bedroom. Most guys will be thankful for a little instruction, especially if it means they’ll succeed at pleasuring you. “A woman who can guide you with sounds or one word responses, is preferred as it takes away the guess work,” says Paget. “Just remember to avoid acting like a sexual traffic cop!” Now let me ask my guys: who would you prefer: a woman that tells you what to do to make her happy or the one who just lies like a log of wood and allows you to take every initiative and guess what to do to her?
Confidence
Men want someone who will leave the lights on and let him get a good look at her. Stop worrying about covering up any squishy parts. Indirect lighting is Nollywood’s best friend and it can be yours as well Men are visual creatures and they want to see their partners. It’s a big part of their turn-on factor.
Love on the Brain
A woman who keeps sex in the forefront of her thoughts, knows how to inject it into life outside the bedroom, and that’s sexy. Try sex-ting him or be extra naughty and playful in public and see the result when you get home. “Do it in a discreet way,” say Paget. “Let your partner know that you’re thinking about sex throughout the day. Remember, your brain is your sexual power source.”
Try these anytime and see your man glue to you.
But it must be with your better half.
Am Out
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