FALLING in love is the most wonderful and exciting thing ever but women most times are afraid of falling in love with a man because we are worried he’ll cheat on us down the line?A cheating boyfriend or husband is every woman’s worst nightmare. If infidelity is always at the back of your mind, which is not unusual, don’t worry you are not being paranoid.
Why? Because surveys and studies have shown that up to 50-60% of all married men will have an affair at least once in their married lives! Of course, the good news is that half of all married men will never cheat on their wives. But still, with a 50-50 chance of infidelity poisoning your relationship in the future, you’d better be prepared for it! And that’s what we’ll be doing in today’s Newsletter.
Basically, there are three reasons why a man might cheat on you: He wasn’t ready for a serious relationship from the beginning, but just found himself in it; He got bored of, or unhappy with the relationship; or he succumbed to peer pressure. It has to be one of those three.
He Wasn’t Ready
This reason for cheating is the guy’s entire fault. There are a lot of men out there who think handling a relationship is a piece of cake. But when the rigors and responsibilities of a serious relationship come flying in, they turn around and run for their lives!
He Got Bored Or Unhappy
If he got bored or unhappy in the relationship, you may have played a part in it. After all, it’s important to do your part in keeping the relationship a happy, fun place to be (and even make it better if you can)! The problem is that most women sit and wait for the guy to “make the first move” before they do their part. My advice? Do your part, whether or not he’s doing his! That way, you wont blame yourself when things go awry.
He Succumbs To Peer Pressure
Let’s face it movies and TV shows suggest its ‘okay’ and maybe even “cool,” for guys to have affairs. His friends may echo the same sentiment. With this culture that tolerates infidelity in the world today, a guy can bend to peer pressure and cheat just to ‘fit in.’ It’s crazy! But those are the facts, and we need to be prepared to face these problems as they come.
I always ask myself this question: Why do more than half of all men tend to cheat on their girlfriends and wives? And why do half of all marriages today end in divorce? The answer to both questions is the same: These relationships are like houses built on sand.
They’re flimsy, and even a weak storm or a little flood can damage or destroy them. To cheat-proof your relationship, you have to build it on a solid ground. And what’s that “solid ground?” Easy: It’s courtship. The dating game.
The all-important process of going through the different stages of love. In other words, you got to play the dating game the way it was meant to be played. Here’s the problem with most couples: They rush their way through the dating game.
Within two weeks of the first date, they’re already going steady. Before the first month, they sleep together. Then just a few months later, they get married and start a new life together. But as the marriage rolls by, the initial attraction and excitement fades.
They start to get bored and unhappy. They start to feel stressed. And then they start to vent their frustrations at each other. And before you know it, they are going their separate ways. All these problems – the lack of preparedness, boredom and dissatisfaction, and peer pressure can be avoided by simply building your relationship on solid ground.
You got to play the dating game the way it was meant to be played! You got to let him court your for three – six months before you go steady. And you got to grow your new relationship for at least three – six months before you sleep together. This waiting time is the “acid test” for your commitment to each other. Most couples won’t survive this acid test.
A while ago, I mentioned that studies say 50-60% of married men will cheat at least once in their lives. To be honest, I’m not exactly sure that figure is accurate. I’m more certain of the fact that 80-90% of all single men aren’t ready to handle a relationship today!
Why are most single men lousy at love? The answer is simple – they don’t teach dating and relationships in school! We get most of our ideas about love from TV and movies. Watching TV is a terrible way to learn about love and dating. It’s still best to learn about love through experience, as many as you find yourself in I’ll advice because we all know the old saying,’ experience is the best teacher’ and you can also learn from happy couples with strong marriages. There are no shortcuts to happiness, that’s a fact.
In closing, here’s a secret that’s a little hard to swallow: Love isn’t simple. You can’t say, ‘all you need is love,’ because that’s simply not true. There are four stages in a strong, romantic relationship: (1) Casual dating, (2) exclusive dating, (3) serious relationship, and (4) marriage. Each stage has different ‘rules’ to follow and goals to achieve. And the problem with most women is that they make their own rules for dating. If you proudly make your own rules and end up with a lousy love life maybe that’s the reason!
Here’s my promise: When you know the rules and when you follow the rules then gorgeous things start to happen in your relationship. Your relationship grows stronger. You’ll love each other more and more with time. He takes charge of the relationship. And everything about the relationship seems easier. And you bet you keep the poison of infidelity from seeping into your relationship!
To the happiness we all deserve, good luck in love and life. Cheers.
No comments:
Post a Comment